Monday, 12 October 2009

Doin' the Lambeth Walk, Oi!

I get off the train at Vauxhall. Just recently I've started to walk along the Albert Embankment, crossing the river at Lambeth Bridge. I don't know if you know that part of town? Anyway, today I was accosted by a slightly grimy looking man. He followed me down the street shouting "Hey!". It was a bit embarrassing so eventually I turned to face him. He was speaking incoherently, "Drunk as a skunk" I thought. He held out his hand, for money obviously - and, with a smile, I said "No". This went on for a bit longer and I realised he wanted to shake my hand, in the manner of many a drunk. Again I said, "No", but his slurring got a bit angrier so I thought I'd shake his hand to placate him. Then he wouldn't let go. I forcefully broke his grip and he just smiled and started to move the hand in a strange way - this confused me but then he started to make a thrusting movement with his hips and the lewd nature of his intentions became apparent. This was too much and I beat a hasty retreat. There was a tense ten seconds during which I braced myself for a possible jab between the shoulder blades (he had seemed potentially an excitable Latin type). Importuned, and before midday. What a start to the week.

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